Making time for what matters the most

Illustration of a mother with a baby on her lap in front of a laptop

March 23, 2021

Daiva Seavey, Vice President of Transport, Infrastructure and Logistics based in Vancouver, shares valuable lessons on the importance of taking time for the most important things in life.

Since early last year, my husband and I have been working from home full time. This was an easy transition because I was working remotely on occasion before the pandemic and had a well-equipped home office already set up.

However, the most challenging part about working from home was trying to keep up with our two kids, aged five and seven. Every day we received lessons and assignments via email from their teachers, and would spend the morning getting them set up for the day. I had to juggle my existing job responsibilities with new ones, as I had been appointed to be one of the local ready, response, recovery (R3) leads who established and managed Advisian’s COVID-19 contingency plan.

I was responsible for coordinating with health authorities and business leads to increase the safety of the local Advisian team members either working onsite or remotely. I had to track vital moving parts, like office numbers, while encouraging social distancing. And I also aligned our health and safety policy to the provincial health authority guidelines and updated it to make sure we were following the latest information. My other priorities included communicating frequently with the whole team through at least one call and email per week.

Dealing with distance and grief

For me, the hardest part about the pandemic was trying to be there for my best friend. She was diagnosed with terminal cancer in June 2020, as the US-Canada border closed. When I could finally travel in August 2020, I decided to go to the US to be with her, and support her husband and her two daughters, aged four and six.

The pandemic made it hard for people to visit her in hospital, including her husband and father. When she eventually came home, we did everything we could to make sure she had as much care as she needed.

I came home in September and quarantined for two weeks. But just days out of my quarantine, on September 18, she passed away. Three months after her 40th birthday. I try my best to stay connected with her husband and kids. Losing someone is hard enough, notwithstanding having to brave it alone.

Riding the pandemic's unrelenting waves

Then my husband and son got COVID-19. They were exposed to the virus at my son’s hockey practice at school in February. Thankfully my daughter and I tested negative, but we all had to isolate in the same house.

We lived in separate rooms for two weeks. Used separate bathrooms. Wore masks. And disinfected surfaces whenever we used them. My husband was sick for a total of nine days, although he didn’t experience breathing issues or other concerning symptoms. My son was by and large asymptomatic.

A slither of light among the clouds

Despite these challenges, there have been positives. My commute has gone from 35 minutes each way to five seconds. We spend more time together as a family, having breakfast and dinner at the same time. And, together with our kids, we are learning the importance of staying physically active.

We also started to encourage our kids to share their feelings more. For example, when they miss their friends or feel frustrated. I want them to know these feelings are normal and talking about them can help.

At the same time, I am trying to prioritize my own mental health. The situation with my best friend made me take a close look at my work-life balance, and the ‘stressors’ in my life. I used to sleep on average five to six hours every night during the weekdays. So, I am trying to set more boundaries and have a more consistent schedule. I am also trying to live in the moment more and appreciate the small things. When I think of someone I haven’t spoken to in a while, I try to reach out to them because tomorrow may be too late.

Challenging gender norms

When my kids were born, my husband and I shared parental leave, which had many benefits for both of us, particularly in our children’s formative years. So, I choose to challenge gender norms. I commit to supporting programs and benefits that advocate for parental leave for every kind of parent.

Daiva's Choose to Challenge pledge for IWD2021